What is an Executive Housekeeper?

So what exactly do you do?

Why did I become a Housekeeper, I ask myself each day
It wasn’t for the status and certainly not the pay!
When I say I’m an Executive Housekeeper, people ask what does that mean
They think I strip and make the beds and give the place a clean.

The truth is I don’t do all that though I do most other things
When no-one knows the answer, mine’s the phone that rings!
At 7 a.m. I arrive at work the team leader’s running late
But I found out, he rang in sick, it was something that he ate!

At 8a.m., the room attendants arrive all crisp and neat
Armed with keys and buckets to start their mammoth feat.
I check up on their grooming, make sure they’re spic and span
If a vacuum cleaner’s not sucking, well I’ll fix it if I can.

There’s always one staff member who continuously runs late
Issuing written warnings is the one thing that I hate.
Advertising, interviewing, recruitment selection
Counselling and disciplining, no time for reflection.

The morning briefing starts at 9
Occupancy’s high so profit is fine
I maintain productivity, to reduce all the costs
Then liaise with a guest about items he’s lost.

At 10, guests arrive, a few and then more
Maintenance is painting the 28th floor
Banquets are busy, Housekeeping too
An American guest got locked in the loo.

Check outs, arrivals, day use and cots
Rollaway beds that come in group lots
Shampooing carpets, checking some rooms
Ordering chemicals, dustpans and brooms.

Scheduling maintenance, administering first aid
Order new curtains for they’re starting to fade
Room changes, turndowns, interconnecting doors
Marble, terrazzo, strip and seal vinyl floors.

Windows and mirrors, and brass rails to clean
Endless supplies of old Mr. Sheen
Be environmentally friendly, there is no excuse
All part of the service, like receiving abuse!

Purchasing uniforms, linen and sheets
Looking for hairdriers that won’t overheat
Irons and ironing boards bought by the score
But how do I get them all up to the floors?

Never a minute for peace and / or calm
Off goes my pager, there’s a fire alarm
I better not panic, I won’t make a fuss
I’ll be a professional, like all of us

Skippers and sleepers and some DNDs
Too many people, too many to please
Meetings to go to, time for a seat
At least for a while, I can take the weight off my feet!!

What should I do when the state has no gas
I asked the G.M. but he said he’d pass!!
I sent linen out to the east and the west
(Well somebody has to think of the guest!)

Friction with Front Office, that’s the name of the game
Any problems, call Housekeeping, they’ll take the blame
Fabrics, upholstery, lampshades with dents
Laundry and budgets (my name’s really Clarke Kent!!)

If I should die and go to heaven, I’ll check in at St.Pete’s
Just my luck he ‘ll say to me, cloud nine rang for clean sheets!!
So I ‘ll try to please both friend and foe, I’ll go to any length
But to get me through each working day, Lord God please give me strength!!!